My “Buddy” J-Part 4

DISCLAIMER: Upon reading this series of blogs, some of you may wonder, “Why did he think anyone would be interested in reading this stuff?” Well, to be honest, I DIDN’T think about anyone being interested in reading it. I wasn’t worried about the entertainment value. These blogs relate to a major chapter of my life finally coming to an end, and I felt like writing about it here. Yes, I could have written it in a journal at home instead of broadcasting it on the net. In fact I tried, but for some reason it didn’t give me the same sense of catharsis that blogging about it does. So here, for better or worse, is the latest blog


I got a job at a company called Land America as a temp in October 2001. I was also taking a night course for accounting and bookkeeping, but I had started to get sick of Denver. The only “friend” I had was J. Naturally I had tried making new friends, but this is what I have discovered about people: when the people around you have already settled into their cliques, it is damn near impossible to break in.

I moved home to Troy, NY in December 2001. J and I remained in contact. Whenever he came to NY for holidays, we would hang out. It was always a nightmare. Without fail he would get drunk to the point where he just could not control himself, nor would he listen to anything he was told. If he got unruly and bouncers told him he had to leave the bar, he would argue. (That’s a way to get yourself an ass kicking.)

Years passed, and in the summer of 2010 two amazing things happened: (1) I finally got back into wing chun (why I was out of it could form ANOTHER series of blogs), and (2) I got into fitness again. It started with the 10 Minute Trainer program in November and December 2010. In January 2011 I moved on to P90X, then Insanity in April. At first I was unaware of it, but my confidence was also increasing with my fitness. When I found myself in situations where someone was trying to bully me, I was able to speak up for myself without fear. No longer was I the meek, quiet, down-in-the-dumps Steve. For once in my life I had a strong sense of self-worth. I was actually HAPPY.

Of course, there are some people out there in the world who don’t want you to be that way. There are people who want you to stay downtrodden forever because THEY have been nothing but failures, and the biggest shocker of all is that, more often than not, the people who tear you down like this are also the ones you consider to be your closest friends!

There will be a part 5, but I have to write about my workout at the moment.


About Steve Grogan

I am 40 years old, divorced, and a father of four kids. I am a practitioner of a self-defense system called wing chun kung fu. My other hobbies include writing, playing guitar, reading, watching movies, and listening to music. Recently I have gotten back into fitness, and this time I am DETERMINED to get the washboard abs...whether my metabolism will cooperate with me or not! The purpose of this blog is to write not only about my hobbies, but also about whatever crosses my mind, whether it is something I don't understand or something that aggravates me. So join me as I indulge my tendency to think too much about topics that don't usually cross anyone else's mind!
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