My Beachbody mentors have started a group where we are reading a book called THE COMPOUND EFFECT by Darren Hardy. Each day we have to read a certain number of pages, and then we have a handful of assignments. Today we had to answer the following questions:
*What are your excuses?
*What steps can you make daily to take on a new direction?
*What things can you STOP doing?
*Where have you been successful in the past?
If they had asked me the first question a few years ago, I would have said my main excuse is that I can’t shake the impression my stepfather Don left on me. He has been out of my life since 1994, but for years after I still let the way he treated me shape my opinion of myself. It’s hard to explain here, but it was just a dark time. Having lived with someone who was verbally instead of physically abusive, I can honestly say words DO sting just as much as fists…and sometimes their effect can linger a lot longer than bruises. (This statement is certainly not meant to minimize what physically abused kids go through. My point is simply that those who are verbally/emotionally abused are often labeled as “whiners,” but the truth is it is still painful.)
As time went on, people would say to me, “You gotta get over that. He left in 1994. There’s no reason to hang on to it.” Logically I knew they were right, but emotionally I couldn’t let it go. It took a lot of time and interacting with other people to realize I wasn’t as much of a waste of space as he made me believe…but it took me a LONG time to get over it, longer than it should have. There was a lot of guesswork, a lot of wrong paths followed, a lot of stumbling around in the dark with no sense of what action would REALLY guide me toward the magical land of self-confidence.
Since this was a discussion started in a Beachbody group, what they want to know is what excuses we have toward building (or NOT building) our business. These days I have stepped way beyond the shadow of my stepfather. My reasons for not building are more financial in nature. Notice I said REASONS and not EXCUSES because let’s face it: I have four kids to support. That takes priority over buying the latest workout program or making sure I placed my order for Shakeology. If I have a choice between feeding my kids or buying Shakeology for MYSELF, guess which one takes priority?
Sometimes this lack of understanding comes from other Coaches who don’t have kids. I can accept and deal with that because unless you have kids, you really don’t understand how quickly the bills can mount up on you. What blows my mind is when this attitude comes from other Coaches who are ALSO parents! While I understand this is a business where you have to spend money to make money, and where you have to “be a product of the product,” I think it also requires a little sympathy toward people’s individual situations. We aren’t all in the same position, so some of us might require a little more finessing to get the same results.