Jerry has the revisions, and he is typing up a shooting script. The next step is to create a video for an IndieGoGo campaign, where we will attempt to raise funds for this movie. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet about what kind of video to make, or how, but that will happen in time.
That’s the next step for making BRUTAL, but I have no idea what to do for myself. Even though I just finished writing that story, it feels like it has been ages since I wrote anything. Can anyone make sense of that? Because I can’t!
In the days since I finished, I’ve felt aimless. When I go home at night, I just don’t know what to do with myself…so I call a friend over, and we usually wind up doing something pointless together. That is funny and ironic because the whole reason I call him up to hang out is because “pointless” is what I think of my life right now!
It’s hard to figure out what I want right now. I don’t want a string of one-night stands, nor do I want to jump right back into a committed relationship. I’d just like to hang out with new people as friends, but even that is proving to be hard. People can’t seem to comprehend this, and when I say “people,” I mean females. They hear I’m a divorced father of four, and they think I’m looking for a quick rebound bang, or a stepmom for the kids.
Well, it just doesn’t seem like happiness will be found through other people. I guess my only option is to do whatever makes me happy and hope that I come across the right people along the way. By “right people,” I mean those who understand me, not to mention those who believe me when I state my intentions!
Then again, look at the kinds of things that make me happy: writing, practicing wing chun, working out, playing guitar. Most of these activities are either done on my own (writing, working out, playing guitar) or expose me to a very limited number of people (wing chun). This ties into another part of my problem: the reason why it hurts me so much when a person decides to bail on me…is because that one person is probably the only new person I met for the last month or two! It’s a numbers game: if I met more people, then I wouldn’t care if one or two jumped ship for whatever reason.
These are the curve balls life has been throwing at me lately. I haven’t figured out how to deal with them yet, but I have faith that I will in time.
Oh, life…it’s bigger than you, and you are not me.