The Gorier the Better or Why I Refuse to Apologize for Being Me

I want to open this blog by briefly saying I missed my Sunday post, and for that I apologize. That is no way to prove I am committed to posting on a regular basis! Hopefully you can forgive me. If you can’t…oh well. Now on to the body of today’s blog.

I don’t know what it is, but lately I have been on this reaffirmation kick. Maybe it’s because after years of being judged and ridiculed and put down and bullied and so on, I’m just finally fucking SICK of it all.

Are the reasons behind it important? Maybe not. All I know is, I’m sick of hiding.

I am a fan of horror films. The gorier the better. And I am going to let my horror film freak fan fly with PRIDE from now on. No more cowering in fear of people judging me.

In the past people would accuse me of being “sick” for liking such movies. Then they would go out and watch any number of action flicks that contained the same amount of gore as your average horror film. Hell, sometimes they were even WORSE!

The only difference between an action film and a horror film is the fact that the horror movie is supposed to be “scary.” So that makes me wonder: why would someone label me sick for watching a scary movie with gore, just to turn around and watch a non-scary movie that was just as bloody? What is with the stigma attached to the “scare” factor?

I may never be meant to understand the difference. Honestly, I don’t think there is one. In my opinion, this is just one more way which allows people to jump on their moral high horse and look down their noses at me.

Well, FUCK ‘EM!!!! I don’t think my English could get any more plain than that.

I also notice that the more money you have, the more gore you can get away with and still not be labelled sick. EXAMPLE: I was talking with a girlfriend who was a big Stephen King fan. King’s stories are full of gory moments, but right now I want you folks to focus on his novel IT, which centered on a monster that killed children.

Remember that, folks: King is NOT above writing about six year old kids being mutilated.

So I told her I was writing a story about a rock star who went nuts and killed his girlfriend on stage. At first the audition thought it was part of the show…until he cuts her body up and starts throwing pieces of it into the crowd. This is how the conversation went.

GIRLFRIEND: uh yeah, that’s pretty sick
STEVE: Sick? You like Stephen King
GIRLFRIEND: yeah so?
STEVE: have you read IT?
STEVE: ok well in that book, he writes about children being murdered
GIRLFRIEND: yeah well he’s rich and famous…you’re not
STEVE: so by your logic…I should have waited until I was rich and famous to write the story. THEN I wouldn’t have been “sick.”

One other point I did not get to argue with her: Stephen King was NOT always rich and famous. So if you follow her train of thought, King was sick when he wrote those stories as a poor man, but he was no longer sick when he earned his money.

Cool, isn’t it? The cure for mental illness is…being rich!

Another person got turned off because I wrote a story where a woman was nearly raped, but someone came along and prevented it. Well, attempted rape happens in real life. Am I not allowed to write about what happens in real life now?

Having said all this, I do feel like explaining why I like horror movies. Notice I said EXPLAIN, not JUSTIFY. Anyway, there are two main reasons for this.

ONE: I like the artistry behind special effects. I enjoy watching them make the unreal look real. And I am talking about old school effects, not something generated in a computer.

TWO: Horror movies are a form of catharsis for me. Why? Because more often than not, in horror movies the monster/slasher/mad scientist/villain gets killed. The wrongdoer gets punished in the end. Wow, what a concept! How many times does THAT happen in real life? I’m sure most of us can agree the answer is something along the lines of “hardly ever” or “not often enough.”

Whatever my reasons are for loving gory films so much, I don’t think it’s relevant. That’s how it is; it’s who I am. If it makes you think I am creepy, sick or weird, then guess what? You don’t have to socialize with me! And it would be also great if you would just silently go on your merry way instead of having to be an asshole and try to convince me that I AM creepy, sick or weird.

Because I gotta be honest here: my days of taking this criticism in silence are done. The next person who tries to make me feel this way will be getting it fired right back at them, because I believe you really do get what you give.



About Steve Grogan

I am 40 years old, divorced, and a father of four kids. I am a practitioner of a self-defense system called wing chun kung fu. My other hobbies include writing, playing guitar, reading, watching movies, and listening to music. Recently I have gotten back into fitness, and this time I am DETERMINED to get the washboard abs...whether my metabolism will cooperate with me or not! The purpose of this blog is to write not only about my hobbies, but also about whatever crosses my mind, whether it is something I don't understand or something that aggravates me. So join me as I indulge my tendency to think too much about topics that don't usually cross anyone else's mind!
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