Yeah I Got 4 Kids by 3 Moms…You Got a Problem?

I want to talk about something that has been really pissing me off in my life for a long time.

To just throw it right out there, I am SICK of being judged for having four kids by three moms.

The most common criticism is, “Oh wow, that’s a pretty bad track record.” Oh yeah? Maybe it is, but first of all “bad track record” does NOT mean “bad PERSON.” Second, kiss my ass.

What pisses me off about it the most is this: I will meet someone for a date…talk to them for hours via text or phone leading up to that date…mention I have four kids, and they are okay…talk about all my different hobbies, and they are okay…go on and on for hours, and they are okay…then I mention the four kids come from three moms and BOOM!!!!! All of a sudden, everything that came before that suddenly goes up in a puff of smoke.

Suddenly, the only thing about me that exists to them is “4 kids, 3 moms.” My skills in writing and guitar, my intelligence, my wit, my humor, my extensive knowledge of movies/books/music, my views on the world/humanity/religion/spirituality…NONE of it matters anymore, all because I have four kids by three moms.

As I said with my article about loving violent movies, this is just one more way for people to get up on their moral high horse and look down their noses at me. Well, you know what? That’s cool. Get on that high horse and ride it right the fuck out of my life.

No one ASKS to be in this situation, but I am. There is nothing I can do. If you want to act as if everything else in my life is negated by the whole “4 kids, 3 moms” thing, then go right ahead. More power to you. I feel sorry for you and your judgmental way of life.

I’ve met women who have just as many kids by just as many dads (sometimes MORE), but I must have been raised different because it never crossed my mind ONCE to look down upon them. If anything, I felt sorry that they’d had kids by guys who weren’t “man” enough to stick around. But like I said, I guess that’s just me.

And you know, it’d be different if I weren’t trying to carry my end of responsibility here. I take my kids whenever I can. I call them every day that I don’t have them. Whenever they need anything at home, I help get it. I help get them to errands that the mothers can’t. Unlike a lot of guys who take off when a woman tells them “I’m late,” I do my part.

And not that I have to justify why I left anyone, but two out of three women involved cheated on me. What would these moral police expect me to do? STAY with the cheaters? But like I said, that part of it is neither here nor there because it is really NO ONE’S CONCERN (except mine and the mothers) why I’m in this position.

So again, if the “4 kids 3 moms” thing makes you feel a certain way about me, then I have a beautiful solution for you: DON’T TALK TO ME!!!!


About Steve Grogan

I am 40 years old, divorced, and a father of four kids. I am a practitioner of a self-defense system called wing chun kung fu. My other hobbies include writing, playing guitar, reading, watching movies, and listening to music. Recently I have gotten back into fitness, and this time I am DETERMINED to get the washboard abs...whether my metabolism will cooperate with me or not! The purpose of this blog is to write not only about my hobbies, but also about whatever crosses my mind, whether it is something I don't understand or something that aggravates me. So join me as I indulge my tendency to think too much about topics that don't usually cross anyone else's mind!
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2 Responses to Yeah I Got 4 Kids by 3 Moms…You Got a Problem?

  1. Robert Mitchell says:

    We have a lot in common. I’m a martial artist and a writer, and I too have four kids by three different moms. Joyously married now for 17 years (that’s how I got child #4)! Never had anybody say a single negative word about it. When you talk to people, don’t let the statistics do the talking — just truthfully tell your story in a way that encourages people empathize with you, the protagonist.

    • wcman1976 says:


      Thanks for the comment. And thanks for understanding that, while this blog expresses my topic in an angry way, I don’t discuss it with my potential romantic interest in this manner. This blog merely represents the build-up of frustration that I have felt ever since I got back “on the scene.” Naturally I’m not going to bring the topic up in the aggressive way I do in the subject line of this blog.

      I had a friend respond to this post on Facebook, saying I shouldn’t care what others think of me. That has always seemed like a silly statement to me for one simple reason: if he is saying I shouldn’t care what others think of me, then I guess I’m not supposed to care that HE thinks I shouldn’t care!

      In any event, sometimes you HAVE to care what others will think of you. Imagine going for an interview for your dream job. Should you go in wearing pajama pants and a moth-eaten shirt, with I-just-got-out-of-bed hair and smelly breath?

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