Some people believe there are only two guarantees in life: death and taxes. I propose a third option: you WILL be judged by others. Today’s topic is about when people decide to label you a winner or loser. Now I am going to say right off the bat: I’m not discussing this issue in an attempt to wind up giving a solution. Why? Because there really isn’t one. There is nothing you or I can do about someone else who has decided to label us in this manner. However, we can control our OWN behavior. So maybe by reading this blog, you can say to yourself, “Damn…I shouldn’t act that way!”
What is a winner? How do you spot one? Well, there seems to be one quality a lot of people attach to this person: someone who has a lot of money. The ability to pay all your bills and have a surplus of cash left over.
So what is a loser? Again, there are a lot of examples. However, I am going to use a specific one because, after all, it is the life I’m living: a guy who has kids by a woman that he is no longer with. Lately this has started to strike me as humorous because it is so ridiculous. Think about it: romantic partners break up all the time…and yet they’re not ALL viewed as losers. So why should someone automatically earn that label simply because there were kids involved?
Now let’s look at our two qualities here. Winner has a lot of money. Loser breaks up with the mother of his kids. So…what if a rich guy leaves his wife, and they had kids? He is a winner because he had money, but now he exhibited a “loser” trait. What the hell does that make him? Well, this brain teaser just short circuits the whole system, doesn’t it?
Some people might say, “Well, the rich guy can at least support his kids.” Okay, but what if he doesn’t? What if he hires some hot shot attorney who gets the child support drastically reduced? In the meantime, Mr. Loser works THREE JOBS to support his kids.
Let’s go further. What about parenting time? Rich Guy Winner hardly ever sees his kids. Poor Guy Loser takes his whenever he can…
You get my point. We can’t judge others simply based on the surface. There is always more details than you will ever know. And if you are not willing to find them out, then you shouldn’t pass judgment. In fact, I don’t think these terms should be used in these situations anyway. Winners and losers are found in sports competitions. The situation I outlined above is no game.