I’m sure we have all heard this sentiment before. Say there is a person in your life who is known for screwing people over. Someone else (who has known this person longer than you) says, “Oh yeah, he/she has always been good for screwing people over. They will never change.” This statement has been levied at me too. If I exhibit one “flaw” more than once, I’m told that I will never change.
I don’t believe this. I CAN’T believe it. There has to be hope that we can change for the better. Otherwise what is the point of getting out of bed in the morning? Why carry on if we’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes until the day we die?
I think to say people can’t change is a broad generalization. There are people out there who never will change, but I don’t think it’s because they CAN’T; it’s because they WON’T. In most cases, these people have a raging sense of arrogance. They think they are perfect and therefore don’t need to change. Or sometimes they will give you an immature reaction that is meant to deflect the attention off them. That’s because they can’t handle the idea of having to be accountable for their actions. Have you ever pointed out a flaw to someone and they say, “Oh yeah, you’re perfect?” Yeah, then you know what I’m talking about.
How can I be so sure people can change? Because I have done it myself. Less than a decade ago I was a mousy, spineless coward who let everyone walk all over him. And now…well, I don’t. I’m not saying I’ve become the toughest guy in the world; all I’m saying is I’m living proof people CAN change.
The trick is to remain humble. Your mindset should be, “I am a good person, but how can I be better?” That is how you walk the fine line between arrogance and low self-esteem. It is what keeps you open to the possibility of change, and we ALL should be. There is always room for improvement.
And yes, improvement IS possible.